Good Days, Bad Days

If you have ever had a bad day, raise your hand. And now that everyone has raised their hand, I will ask a little question. Why was it a bad day? Was it bad because something bad happened to you? Or was it bad because you just felt bad? Could it have been bad because the weather was bad or things just didn't seem to go right or you just didn't seem to be able to get going? Or was it bad because you wanted something and couldn't have it, or needed something and it didn't come? Well, probably in your life, as it surely has been in my life, it was all of those things at one time or another. Some months I have wondered if I was having more bad days than good days. However, looking backward, I no longer see those bad days as bad.

I have a houseful of children. They are constantly asking questions, making messes, challenging the rules and trying my patience. But, besides my jobs of cleaning, cooking, rule-making and overseeing, I also carry the tremendous responsibility to nurture. That includes teaching my children about life as I see it. In that process, I have had many opportunities to bring up incidents from my past that teach lessons to my children.

For example, some years ago my daughter came to me with tears in her eyes asking if she would ever be able to go to college. She thought that we couldn't possibly afford it and the thought of even asking us to help filled her with dread. I then talked to her for a couple of hours about how, when I was her age, I had the same problem. My parents were not in a position to help me with my schooling and I too despaired of ever obtaining the goal of a college degree. After much prayer, work, tears and worry, I was able, through the help of my brother, to register for my first semester at college and take that huge leap into the unknown. I didn't know how I would pay for the next semester, or how I would live, once I got to school, but I knew I was going and I was grateful.

As I talked with my daughter about our own family and what our situation was, as well as what I had endured as a girl her age, she began to feel better. We worked together to accomplish her goal of gaining a college degree.

When I was in college, my situation seemed almost desperate. I had little money for food, I worked part-time jobs and carried a huge load of credits in order to finish as quickly as possible. Life was extremely difficult and trying. After my first two years in college I spent two weeks in the hospital due to the stress I had been under. At the time, my life seemed to be unbearably difficult. I could not see how that experience could in any way benefit me. It just seemed like I was doomed to a hard life of financial difficulty, stress, hunger and pain. But now when I share my experience with my children, I see a great benefit coming from that time in my life.

For one thing, it teaches them to be grateful for what they have. They can see the good in their lives a lot easier if they can appreciate the little things we sometimes take for granted. For another, they have a hard time feeling sorry for themselves if their trouble seems small. My experiences with trouble gives me a wealth of information to share with my children when they are feeling self-pity. It keeps their life in perspective.

Trouble is a thing I would not like to live without. Trouble provides experience, experience provides confidence, confidence provides peace, and peace is a thing worth having. Yes, it takes time for trouble to turn to peace. But it does turn. I would not now trade all of my bad days for good ones because all the bad days have already turned to good ones. Without them my life would be lifeless and dull, like soup without salt. During all the bad days, I sometimes felt that the price I was paying was more than I could afford. Now I know that it was my privilege to pay and I would gladly do it all again.