Being alive is life-threatening! Get in your car and you might be killed. Get the flu and you might die. Eat the wrong thing and you might get cancer. Take the wrong plane and you might never come home. Breathe polluted air and it might poison you. And the list goes on. Let's face it; Life is dangerous. So, we should all just live in protective bubbles, right? Well...
I love to watch toddlers. They are so brave and adventurous. They are always taking risks and stepping out on a limb, (sometimes literally!) They love to learn new things and they usually love to try every new thing they see. Not only are they not worried about the consequences, but they frequently laugh in the face of disaster or danger. Granted, this behavior is largely due to the child's ignorance. They simply do not understand the gravity of each situation. So, parents teach them what it means to be 'careful'. Of course, this is a good thing. But an interesting thing happens to some people who teach others to be careful. Somewhere along the line, and it's usually labeled as 'concern for your safety', the parent or whoever is doing the teaching, begins to think that teaching someone to be careful is not enough. Compelling the child to be careful, grounding the child, punishing the child, or restricting the child, all follow easily in the wake of the teaching. ( I do not imply that there is not a time when a small child must be protected from his ignorance, as in: taking a small child out of the way of an oncoming car.) People justify this process of compulsion because they feel that they know best what the child needs and therefore they have a responsibility to enforce the rules or safety policies.
Consider, that a child cannot possibly learn to choose correctly if never allowed to choose. That sounds simple enough, but who really believes that. The actions of most people of my acquaintance seem overwhelmingly in favor of compulsion, not choice. And, sadly enough, once the compulsion has begun, often, the teaching ends. The child is left to wonder what life would have been like if he had been allowed to make a choice. Then, as an independent adult, the child begins to make all the choices denied him as a child. This is standard juvenile behavior, and yet parents are still falling into this old trap. Teaching and choosing must go hand in hand. Compulsion should have no place in the equation.
Children need to make choices early and often. They need to be allowed to make choices that affect their future, while they are very young. In that way, they learn what is good and works, and they learn what is bad and doesn't. When allowed to choose at an early age with the constant teaching and caring supervision of loved ones, a child will become confident in making choices that impact his life for the better. It sets a pattern for the child's life that builds happiness and security.
Just as parents have a responsibility to teach children to be careful but, in my opinion, not to force their choices, so I believe also the same principle applies to people who are given authority to govern other people. Choices must be allowed. Certainly there is a time for appropriate reprimand and punishment for those who choose to do damage to others in any way. But to restrict choice is to create the monster of unbridled choice. When laws seek to compel a man to make him 'good', they create the very thing they seek to eliminate. Rebellion and not obedience is the result.
I believe that children can be taught to make wise choices by giving them important choices to make and allowing them at a very young age to feel the consequences of those choices. I also believe that people do not have the right to grant other people the authority to force people to be 'good'. It never achieves it's end, and probably does great harm as well. We can put people in a bubble and force them to be safe, educated, well, obedient and productive, or we can realize that life is a test, a challenge, a journey, and a choice.
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