I Love Spring

Spring, for some strange reason, always brings out the de-clutterer in me. Both inside and outside our home will find me ruthlessly de-junking in the spring. From dead wood to dead coats, there is something about the spring that makes me long for that clean fresh feeling of spring to find it's way into even the darkest closets, the furthest reaches of the yard and the deepest recesses of my mind.

Nine years ago, when we moved here from our home in Utah, I spent an entire year casting off ten years of accumulation and clutter. It was a great feeling to remove things that we were not using or that had outlived their usefulness and yet, when we finally moved it still felt like we had more stuff than we needed. This spring, as I look around, it seems that way again. Modern living is generally cluttered living. This is partly due, I believe, to the poor quality of goods made readily available in every store. It is easy to buy something cheap these days and difficult to get rid of things that don't work or you don't really need. 

Cluttered living is habit forming, I think. Once you have acquired something, it sort of takes hold of you and it can be extremely difficult to let go of it, no matter how inconvenient it might become. If the clutter happens to be a gift, then its hold is even more tenacious and getting rid of it can be almost impossible. I once read that clutter, (loosely defined as things in your life that have not been used in the last year or things that have outlived their usefulness), is not just a benign pile of stuff but in fact it can become a serious drain on your life's energy. Every time you look at a pile of 'stuff' that is not being used but is taking up space, your mind tries to work on that pile. Maybe you think about what should be done with it, why you haven't done it, reasons why you might want to keep it, where you might put it instead, etc. Negative energy was what it was called. The clutter sucks energy from your life by sitting there waiting for a solution. I have seen homes where the clutter has literally taken over the life of the house. Used and useful articles are relegated to tiny slices of space that have to be wrested away from the grasp of the clutter. Like a monster parasite taking over it's host, these homes are unlivable, to say nothing of the people who live with it. 

On the other hand, I have noticed with children as well as myself, that whenever a room has been cleaned, we invariably are drawn to that room and begin creating something, playing something or working on something in it. The room acts like a magnet for creativity and finds immediate use. Laughter, joy and creative energy fairly bubble out of the room, making it and everyone involved in it feel more alive. 

Clutter is not merely a question of things but also of people and feelings. For instance, people can carry mountains of emotional clutter around with them. Grudges, past hurts, failures, wrongs, grievances, illnesses and troubles can be carried into every conversation and every relationship. The more you carry with you, the more difficult it is for any useful or happy interaction to occur. The emotional clutter brings with it the addiction of self-pity and the loss of hope. Creativity becomes something to regret instead of something to reach for. Other people succeed, other people are happy, other people are healthy, but the cluttered person is held captive by his clutter.

Spring makes me feel like letting go. It makes me want to remove both physical and emotional clutter. As I stood in my yard this week and watched while a pile of dead branches burn, I felt strangely liberated. I watched the wood turn to ash and smoke and literally to disappear and it seemed like magic! My yard had been cluttered with these branches for many months. Now they were gone and it felt so much like freedom that I wanted to sing! At the same time, because it felt like the right thing to do, I mentally dropped some emotional clutter into that fire and watched it go up in smoke. It felt so good that I spent the rest of the day looking for more things to burn. I do love spring.

A Few Good Things

Sometimes it seems like the world is going to h--- in a hand basket, but today I want to think about some of the things that are right with the world. There is a philosophy that says: whatever you focus on is what you will get more of. Right now I would like more of a few things that I find particularly good and wonderful.

One thing that really makes me happy and that I would like to see more of is this idea of 'inalienable rights'. I love the concept that there are rights which I possess which were not given to me by any human, group or earthly entity. These rights are mine because I am alive and they cannot be given or taken; they just 'are'. This idea implies a great deal about my origin and destiny which might be difficult to explain or discuss in certain public places, but they are mine just the same and I will not be denied those rights if I can help it. Never mind that there are whole political parties dedicated to the removal of some or all those rights. I don't care. Maybe it's time those rights were threatened. People are altogether too complacent about rights, responsibilities and freedom these days and if the loss of their freedom makes them aware of their inalienable rights to the extent that they then begin to understand and defend them in a meaningful way, then so be it. 

Speaking of freedom, this beautiful land in which we live is a veritable treasure-trove of wonder and magnificent scenery. You can cross Idaho at it's most insipid and tame places and you cannot help but be in awe of the power and majesty of this truly inspiring creation. Everywhere you go in this country there are vast areas of sweeping glorious beauty to take your breath away. I am always filled with gratitude when I see a picturesque landscape or a rushing river or an approaching storm or a fiery sunset. How can one ignore the grandeur all around us and forget that nothing good happens by accident but must be done deliberately. It would be like a rich man planning a lovely party for his daughter, with gifts and guests, ponies and party favors, music and magic and the daughter afterward saying to her friend, “Isn't it wonderful that all these great things just happened to get here by accident, on my birthday?” The party we have been enjoying is significantly more complex and extraordinary than the one in my example and still there are those who, in their colossal ignorance have the effrontery to say that it 'just happened' to land here for their personal enjoyment and nothing more. 

Since I'm talking about things that make me happy, it would be wrong to leave out the people in my life who play parts in the drama of life. When I was younger, I watched some soap operas since it could not be avoided (my boss where I worked was addicted to them and had to have them on all the time). One thing I learned from that experience was that real people were much more interesting, fun, challenging, entertaining, helpful, beautiful or anything than a fake person on television. Children today have been led down a dark path of 'avatar' living, where they only live a surrogate life while their real life goes un-lived. From soap operas to video games to cult-movies to cyber-relationships, people are doing less and less real living and more and more pretend living. But honestly, there is no comparison. However, when real people only hurt us, let us down, use us or disappoint us, well... that's too bad. There is nothing in this world to compare with a family that works. I know because I have one. I have worked at it for my entire life and it works great. It is the greatest thing I have. It is the greatest thing I will ever have. It is the only thing worth living for and one of the few things worth dying for. Giving it up, taking it for granted, losing it, abusing it, shirking it or ignoring it are the worst things you can ever do to yourself. I wouldn't recommend it.

Mostly Dead

What does it cost a man to stand up for what he believes in? By 'stand up' I mean to actually change his behavior to fit his stated opinions and beliefs. This rare form of honesty is something I have read about and sometimes heard about, but seldom have I seen it. It is true that there have been many people in my acquaintance who have put up a pretty good fight, who have done at least something, but the kind of integrity I have in mind is the kind that, like that of Joan of Arc, is not bound by artificial restrictions but finds a way to express itself even at the risk of one's life.

Some years ago, while living in a great metropolis, my husband had the interesting experience of working for a large software company. While there, it happened that he was falsely accused of a certain breach of conduct. Throughout the investigation, my husband continually asserted his innocence and defended his position to the best of his ability, which eventually brought him face to face with the owner, and multimillionaire president of the company. As frightening as that must have been and in spite of the pressure from friends and associates alike to give in to the demands being made upon him to admit guilt and to 'reform' his behavior, he never wavered from his position. The president himself threatened to fire him if he did not comply and though he was called a fool and worse for doing so, my husband stood firm and refused to admit guilt. It was a good way to find out who his true friends were. Incidentally, my husband did not lose his job. He got a raise.

This small example of sticking to your guns is a little bit of what I am thinking of. It seemed like there were people coming out of nowhere telling my husband that he was a complete idiot to risk losing such a great job, just for the sake of a little misunderstanding. To them it was a mere trifle, a small thing, but to him, it was his integrity and it meant everything. I admire that in any man.

Joan of Arc is another personal heroine for the same reason. It took more than just courage to face a foul-mouthed general, a spoiled King, a nation of cowards and an opposing army of thousands. At each crossroads she faced her enemy and defeated them. Even when her own countrymen betrayed her to the enemy and she was jailed, harassed, tricked, tortured, tried and finally burned to death they could not take from her the one possession which was worth more than all the gold of all the countries in the world; her integrity remained and still remains intact. Today there are more statues in remembrance of Joan of Arc than of any other person who ever lived. 

But I have to ask myself: Why did she do it? Why was she willing to risk her life for the sake of one little principle of truth, as she perceived it? And when she had done so, and died for it, why did the whole world rise up and praise her little name as one of the Great Ones of the world?

People have said to me: “You probably won't be asked to give your life for your belief.” And I want to say: “Why not?” What does it cost a man to stand up for what he believes in? To really stand, to fight, to never give in, to persevere through difficulty, rejection, persecution or even death? The immortal words of Nathan Hale still ring true today: “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country.” There ought to be more things than country for which a man would be willing to lay down his life. For instance, the safety and well-being of one's children, the sanctity of one's home and family or the integrity of one's business dealings to name a few. Today it would seem that there are too many people who would rather die than be honest. They would rather die than save their marriage. Perhaps they would even rather die than make someone happy. How have we come to this? 

Sir Thomas Moore, I think, could teach us something. It was he who said: “When a man takes an oath, he's holding his own self in his own hands like water, and if he opens his fingers then, he needn't hope to find himself again.” Indeed, it seems we are a people lost in a sea of forgotten selves. We do not know who we are because we stand for nothing, risk nothing, gain nothing. What is death compared to that?