Mostly Dead

What does it cost a man to stand up for what he believes in? By 'stand up' I mean to actually change his behavior to fit his stated opinions and beliefs. This rare form of honesty is something I have read about and sometimes heard about, but seldom have I seen it. It is true that there have been many people in my acquaintance who have put up a pretty good fight, who have done at least something, but the kind of integrity I have in mind is the kind that, like that of Joan of Arc, is not bound by artificial restrictions but finds a way to express itself even at the risk of one's life.

Some years ago, while living in a great metropolis, my husband had the interesting experience of working for a large software company. While there, it happened that he was falsely accused of a certain breach of conduct. Throughout the investigation, my husband continually asserted his innocence and defended his position to the best of his ability, which eventually brought him face to face with the owner, and multimillionaire president of the company. As frightening as that must have been and in spite of the pressure from friends and associates alike to give in to the demands being made upon him to admit guilt and to 'reform' his behavior, he never wavered from his position. The president himself threatened to fire him if he did not comply and though he was called a fool and worse for doing so, my husband stood firm and refused to admit guilt. It was a good way to find out who his true friends were. Incidentally, my husband did not lose his job. He got a raise.

This small example of sticking to your guns is a little bit of what I am thinking of. It seemed like there were people coming out of nowhere telling my husband that he was a complete idiot to risk losing such a great job, just for the sake of a little misunderstanding. To them it was a mere trifle, a small thing, but to him, it was his integrity and it meant everything. I admire that in any man.

Joan of Arc is another personal heroine for the same reason. It took more than just courage to face a foul-mouthed general, a spoiled King, a nation of cowards and an opposing army of thousands. At each crossroads she faced her enemy and defeated them. Even when her own countrymen betrayed her to the enemy and she was jailed, harassed, tricked, tortured, tried and finally burned to death they could not take from her the one possession which was worth more than all the gold of all the countries in the world; her integrity remained and still remains intact. Today there are more statues in remembrance of Joan of Arc than of any other person who ever lived. 

But I have to ask myself: Why did she do it? Why was she willing to risk her life for the sake of one little principle of truth, as she perceived it? And when she had done so, and died for it, why did the whole world rise up and praise her little name as one of the Great Ones of the world?

People have said to me: “You probably won't be asked to give your life for your belief.” And I want to say: “Why not?” What does it cost a man to stand up for what he believes in? To really stand, to fight, to never give in, to persevere through difficulty, rejection, persecution or even death? The immortal words of Nathan Hale still ring true today: “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country.” There ought to be more things than country for which a man would be willing to lay down his life. For instance, the safety and well-being of one's children, the sanctity of one's home and family or the integrity of one's business dealings to name a few. Today it would seem that there are too many people who would rather die than be honest. They would rather die than save their marriage. Perhaps they would even rather die than make someone happy. How have we come to this? 

Sir Thomas Moore, I think, could teach us something. It was he who said: “When a man takes an oath, he's holding his own self in his own hands like water, and if he opens his fingers then, he needn't hope to find himself again.” Indeed, it seems we are a people lost in a sea of forgotten selves. We do not know who we are because we stand for nothing, risk nothing, gain nothing. What is death compared to that?