The Battle

There are those who act as though the purpose of life were to get all the money, position and convenience you possibly can. For them, life is a battle to be fought with your hands, reaching endlessly for what you need and want. It is a battle of things, appearances, resumes, skills and advantages that only ends when you die and even then, you must pass those values on to your children lest they squander that in which you have invested so much time and effort. By this standard, a man's success is measured by his salary, investments, possessions and the size of his home, all of which is outside of himself. But what if, when measuring success or failure, we measured the inside of a man instead of merely his possessions? How could we do such a thing even if we tried?

When I was very young, I used to sing. I had an older sister who also sang. Once, while listening to me singing, my sister leaned over and with something less than appreciation let me know that my singing was 'flat'. The way she said it, and what I thought she meant by it, was enough to cause me, from that time onward, to always try to tighten my voice, sing softer, to avoid other people when I sang and in general to feel that my voice was unacceptable to other people. Forty years later, as I stood on the stage in front of 1300 people, those feelings came back to me and I wondered if all those people were going to think that I was singing flat!

Victor Frankel, the famous writer and thinker who survived a prison camp experience, said that though his captors could take everything else from them, including their lives, there was one thing they could not take away, and that was their capacity to choose how they would react to their situation. He was able to choose love in the face of hatred, service in the face of deprivation and purpose in the face of confinement.

Principles held within the mind and heart of a man are more powerful than money or advantages. If a man believes that he is a failure because he has little money, no position and few possessions then he is bound by that belief. Even as I was bound by my belief that whenever I sang, it would be flat and people would not want to listen, so we can be bound by the things that we believe about ourselves. In other words, the real battle of life is within the mind of a man.

I have read of a blind man who, deciding to climb Mt. Everest, set his mind to the task and finally completed it, making him the first blind man ever to do so. But he only succeeded after he had determined that he was capable of such a thing. If he had decided that because he was blind, he should not even think of doing such dangerous things, then it would have been true. . How many times do we stop ourselves from whatever it is we would like to do, simply because we believe it is not possible. I have heard hundreds of people say to me that they would love to succeed if only they had the money for this or that advantage; and so they have given up all hope of success, unless they win the lottery or someone gives them a million dollars. On the other hand, there are those with wealth and advantages in abundance who accomplish little and find neither success nor happiness.

Success comes not to the one with the most money, but to the one who has defeated the false ideas of his own mind that keep him from accomplishing whatever he desires. People through the ages, have proven time and again, that humans are capable of amazing things. However, there are those who falsely believe that the only thing standing between them and success is money and practice. But that is not quite true, in my opinion. The only thing standing between anyone and their own success is that little gray battlefield on your shoulders that must be won in order for you to believe that you are capable of success or happiness or anything else.

I once watched as a little handicapped girl played a beautiful piano piece. Her mother had been told that the girl would be a vegetable all her life. She did not believe it. She had won the battle that we all must fight if we would find either happiness or success. And that's worth fighting for.

A New Year; A New You

With a new month, a new year and according to some a new age, coming fast upon us, it reminds me of the tradition of new-year's resolutions. When I was a child it was common for people to talk about their resolutions through most of December and January of any given year. It seemed to me a good way to take stock of one's life and then to do something constructive about it. This year, I can't say that I have heard anyone speak of a new-years resolution or any resolution for that matter. To resolve, unequivocally upon some course of action can be a powerful force for good in one's life. However, the decline and fall of the resolution can only indicate a decline and fall of the good that comes from it.

I overheard a conversation recently, of a person who was relating an instance of the abuse of her friend by a person close to her. She was obviously concerned and upset because this friend had not the resolve or the fortitude to remove herself from the abuse, but was inclined to justify the abuser and ignore the abuse for the sake of other seeming benefits that might be gained by the relationship. This little bit of an overheard conversation caused me to ponder on some of the human frailties we all possess.

When I was growing up with three older brothers and two older sisters, I found myself in a constant battle, the nature of which was a mystery to me. As anyone knows who has had older siblings or a boss, the temptation to treat those under you with something other than kindness, generosity and fairness is unfortunately universal. I other words, I knew what it was like to be oppressed and mistreated. In saying that, I do not mean to imply that my siblings were malicious. No, I believe that they were mostly unaware of the pain they were causing those of us who were younger than they were, just as a boss might be unaware of the feelings of his subordinates. Nevertheless, I was often hurt, both physically and emotionally.

For my entire life, I accepted the pain I endured at the hands of unkind siblings and others, as normal and natural; a part of life that could not be avoided and therefore must be tolerated and forgiven. In so doing, however, there was a vital principle of existence that was being overlooked. In overlooking this principle I discovered that I was perpetuating all of the abuse which I so fervently wished to avoid. It is not an obvious principle, either to discover or to understand, so I can understand why I could not see it for most of my life. But it is one that, if used properly, can become a great catalyst for change. The principle is self-respect. Unlike self-esteem, it is not so much interested in 'liking' one's self as in simply giving one's self the right to live and in treating one's self as you would treat a respected friend.

Most people treat themselves pretty badly. For instance, most people will call themselves 'stupid' if they make a mistake. This and other self-abuse is all too common. A person who respects himself will refrain from speaking thus to himself and will give himself the benefit of the doubt; always giving an honest assessment of the situation, without unjust or undue criticism. Apply this principle to a new year's resolution and you have an unbreakable promise that you keep to yourself. Why should it be easier to break a promise to ourselves more than to a friend? Why should we think less of ourselves than of others? And how can we expect others to treat us with respect if we do not respect ourselves? A person who thinks little of himself and allows others to hurt or abuse him, will discover that there are a host of people out there who are willing to perpetuate that hurt. On the other hand, if you respect yourself, you will not allow others to treat you that way, but you will stand up for yourself, even as you would stand up to a bully on the playground.

When self-respect becomes a governing principle in your relationships, then mutual respect can be cultivated and peace can be found. When self-respect reigns in a person's being, then resolutions become unbreakable promises to one's self and the stepping-stones to great progress and achievement, and isn't that what a new year or a new age should be about?

Christmas and Money

Children look forward to Christmas because of the things they hope to receive. Adults often do not look forward to Christmas because of the things they feel obliged to give. If you have not the means to give gifts, then the feelings might be even more unpleasant. But, perhaps there needs to be a shift in how we think of gifts, in order that Christmas time might be one of joy for everyone.

It occurs to me that there are some things that money can buy and others that it cannot buy. For instance, money can allow one to purchase products that will cause illness, but it cannot, for any price purchase good health. When we buy health insurance, we think we are buying health, but health insurance is really just speculation or gambling. You are betting that you will be ill and require medical attention and the insurance company is betting that you will not. The more medical attention you require the more you are required to pay. But, paying more health insurance does not insure good health. Health is something that comes with patient, knowledgeable care of the body, good eating habits, and a host of other things, all having to do more with knowledge and self-discipline than with money.

Peace is another commodity that cannot be purchased with any amount of wealth. Money can purchase weapons, bribe leaders, coerce populations, cause, promote and foster war, but it has no power to bring peace because peace is a quality or a gift of the heart. Peace in the individual or in a nation is built upon principles of trust, truth, hope, equality, freedom etc. None of these things can be bought with money.

Then too, you can spend a lot of money, hiring any amount of people you can name, traveling the world over, giving millions of dollars to individuals and organizations, finding many people willing to attach themselves to you because of your money and never find a true friend. The history of the world is full of accounts of the wealthy and powerful being surrounded by those who would share in their wealth. However, flattery, betrayal, conspiracy, murder, strife, envy, duplicity and every vice imaginable are connected with great wealth and power. With all that wealth, they could not purchase happiness, peace, freedom, security or health for themselves or their children.

In our daily struggle to live and survive in the modern world, I think we forget some of the lessons of the past. We think that if we can purchase something big for our children, our spouse, our friends or our relatives that somehow we will be loved and appreciated more. As though we could give and receive love through an x-box or a box of chocolate. But, just as wood does not conduct electricity, so x-boxes or chocolate or any other material thing, do not convey love. Love is carried in the person; the eyes, the heart, the feelings, the countenance. Any other method is bogus and counterfeit.

The trouble with buying gifts is that it is so easy to do. Anyone can go to a store and purchase a thing to give to someone. It is much more difficult to cultivate, acquire and share gifts of real value, such as love, hope, compassion, vision, help, warmth, joy, closeness, beauty or peace. These can be shared, just as the store-bought gifts can be, but they are more lasting, more meaningful and of infinitely greater value. Certainly, where necessities of life are needed, necessities ought to be given. To give trinkets where food is needed would be an insult. But to give anything else where love is most needed would be a tragedy.

Too Busy to Live

If there is one saying that encapsulates life in the twenty-first century I think it would have to be the one that I hear most often from friends, neighbors and family alike; That is: I'm too busy. I know of no one who does not consider himself to be too busy. The other saying that goes with being too busy usually has something to do with stress. Thus we constantly hear people saying things like, “I was just too busy to get that done.” or “I was so stressed out I just had to get away for a few hours.” or “I'd really like to do that some day when I'm not so busy.” My question is: What exactly does 'busy' or 'stressed out' mean and what is it that people are busy and stressed out about? 

 

When you say 'busy' I think of homework. Some people call it 'busywork', some call it schoolwork, but regardless of the name, the result is the same: namely, you work long and hard at something obviously and honestly unimportant and relatively meaningless. I always balked at the hours and hours of time I spent answering redundant and sometimes demeaning questions at the end of every chapter I read in school. I agonized over the whole concept of keeping my mind occupied with useless 'busywork' while real life was passing me by. When people say they are 'too busy' to do something that they really want to do, I have to wonder how important that 'busy-ness' really is. 

So, let's say for instance that you have a job. In that job, you are required to move pile A to pile B all day long. Eventually, no matter how much money you are making, your mind is going to end up screaming at you that the job itself is pointless and redundant. Of course, then you have the other side of that coin where the bills have to be paid and the food has to be procured for the coming week. So you busily go about your meaningless job, making money so you can survive. On top of that, the job of moving pile A to pile B doesn't pay very well, so you have to work many more hours than you would like so that when you finally get home, you are either too tired, too stressed out or have been 'too busy' to do any real living. 

I think it's a crying shame that this is the way most people live. Are these people too busy surviving to live a productive, happy life wherein they do the things they really love to do? I believe that happiness comes from doing what you love to do and having enough to live on as a result. Ideally, everyone would do what he does best and loves to do, living productively until the day he died and helping others to live better by producing something of value to his neighbors. I believe that we don't have to have mega-factories where thousands of people live out their busy and stress-filled lives trying to get ahead in a never-ending battle for survival. I think that people can work together, doing what they do best, in an atmosphere of cooperation and on a small scale. Anciently, small villages worked this way to a certain extent. However, there always seemed to be someone who wanted to take control of large groups of villages, states and even nations. These actions always lead to disaster, tyranny and oppression. Everything in our society can be improved, I believe, by bringing it home to a small town level and allowing people to govern themselves. 

If I could make any changes in this world, it would be changes toward independent living, small scale cooperation among neighbors and an absence of centralized control of everything. There are thousands of people in this world, if not millions, who have spent their entire lives working for a company doing busy work and never knowing the joy of doing what they love for someone who appreciates and needs that work. They are the people who are too busy to live. It sounds to me like 'too busy to live' is really 'too ready to die'. You would think that in the twenty-first century we could come up with something better than that!

The Next Target

Beauty, symmetry and order surround us in nature. Everything natural proceeds in its measured pace, perfectly in rhythm with itself and its environment. In fact, nature teaches us to be orderly. From the smallest atomic particles to the movements of galaxies, the natural world moves in tune to strict patterns and invariable mathematical structures. It's like being part of a grand machine whose parts are all in sync one with another. People have bodies that function upon certain principles in a practically invariable manner until things are introduced into the body that do not belong in the system and so cause malfunction.

 Horse whisperers have taught us that working with and not against this natural order of things has the effect of empowering people to heal and help where there has been serious malfunction in a horse's behavior. There are people who are attempting to accomplish similar things with people using natural laws and understanding the principles of how the body and mind work. To me, this is a great advance in knowledge, if we can use it to benefit people and our world directly.

However, on the other side of this coin, there are those who would use these kinds of knowledge in order to control and destroy instead of to help. According to some, next to the desire for wealth, the desire for power is the most captivating human frailty. For some reason, people like to have the ability to manipulate people and circumstances for their own ends. For this reason, I think it is wise to beware, especially today, of those who have control over the things that provide ideas. This control (ie. Power) can be a dangerous thing.

The headlines say,  "The Jews are our Misfortune." Germany, 1936.

I recently saw an interview with a man who had been present at a speech given by Adolf Hitler at the beginning of his rise to power. He happened to be a man who was not a German and certainly not a follower of Hitler at any time. However, he confessed that after hearing Hitler speak, he was carried away by a sort of mesmerizing quality that leader seemed to possess and was surprised to find himself caught up in the feeling of it, to the extent that he began to believe in what was being said. The perspective of this man gives us an interesting insight into the use of certain little-known knowledge and practices which were only beginning to be used in the early twentieth century. Today, I believe we witness daily the full-scale, widespread use of those same techniques, perfected by long and diligent use on an unknowing population of avid listeners and viewers.

The question arises: Why would anyone want to control or influence the way people think? What possible end could it achieve? In my opinion, the only end that could be of any value would be to gain more wealth and more power.

To take a current example: The massive smear campaign against a certain race/culture, obviously promoting fear and hatred against these people. If someone is my enemy, I will find it out myself by what they do to me. But, when someone undertakes to try to persuade me to fear and hate someone, in the absence of my own evidence, I think it behooves me to find out the truth for myself. If all I have is hearsay, circumstantial evidence and vicious gossip I should be wary of the perpetrator of such misinformation and I should be very cautious of any judgment I make based on this obviously biased information. It is apparent to me that someone wants me to hate a group of people to accomplish some end for themselves while disguising their actions as “protecting” me. Interestingly, and coincidentally, these are the same tactics used by a certain leader over fifty years ago on a certain group of people within his country, to get his own people to hate them so that he could justify his mistreatment and finally annihilation of them.

So, I say again, beware of anyone who controls the things that can change the way people think. Instead of just being grateful that the target is not you, it makes sense to realize that the next target might be.

Getting Past the Past

Many people in this world believe in multiple 'lives'. Recently, I have been thinking about this most interesting viewpoint and some of its implications. I have come, at least for now, to the conclusion that we do indeed live more than one life. Not, perhaps, in the strict sense of reincarnation, but in the sense that each day that we go to sleep and re-awaken it is like a mini death with a mini resurrection behind it. Honestly, some mornings I feel like I'm coming 'back from the dead'. However, aside from being a necessary part of life, sleeping and waking can, I believe, be very instructive, to the end that we might live better lives if we see them as multiple chances instead of only one.

Each time we go to sleep, our consciousness becomes dormant and our sub-conscious mind takes over completely. We breathe, pump blood, regenerate, rebuild, dream, solve and regroup for the next day. Our bodies and minds do this automatically and we take for granted the fresh energy and outlook that become ours every morning. I have heard it said that if you have a perplexing problem, you should sleep on it. Perhaps this is because our sub-conscious mind has capabilities for problem-solving that we aren't aware of. But, regardless of how it is done, we each benefit from this wonderful phenomenon. 

I like to think of this awakening as a sort of birth. We are born to another day, even another life. It's true that we carry with us the trappings of yesterday: our families, friends, clothing, shelter, food, furniture, circumstances etc. But even with all of yesterday around us, we can still start each day taking a fresh look at who we are and what we would like to be. Consider a man with amnesia. He wakes up from a bump on the head and has no recollection of yesterday. He doesn't know who he is, or what he has done in his life. Perhaps he was a thief. He may get calls from his friends, wanting him to do a job for them. Someone may inform him of his chosen profession, the absence of his family, the loss of his freedom, etc. He might then find himself wishing that he were not a thief. At this point, he might say to himself: I don't really want to be a thief, I want to be a dentist. So, he picks up the phone and starts making arrangements to attend dental school. 

The wise man, I believe, takes yesterday with a grain of salt and charts a course for a tomorrow that is strictly in keeping with his inmost desires, hopes and dreams. If we do not do this, then we are like the thief who, after awakening from a bout of amnesia, decides it's too hard to change what everyone tells him is his past and he ultimately allows his friends, circumstances and accoutrements to tell him what he is, so he can continue to be what they expect him to be. 

Each day gives us the amazing opportunity to awake from the amnesia of sleep, a gift really, and decide what we want our lives to be. Whatever the past has been needn't determine anything. Certainly, we ought to learn from the past, make needed course corrections and move on, but enslavement to one's past is today's most common slavery. It is the direction of a ship that determines its destination, not where it has been. 

Now is the only time we really have. Yesterday does not exist. Every day that we wake up, we have infinite possibilities at our disposal. So, looking forward and not back, we can behave as though each day were another lifetime and set a course we can live with, instead of merely repeating the past out of habit.

Hey, Grandpa!

I met a man recently, who had a little ranch set-up that seemed ideal to me. He had a new home, custom-made with special stones from a certain river bed, beams from a special kind of wood, an interior design suited to every need and decor that looked like it came out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. There was also a horse barn, with horses, nice fences, a great little garden spot, a volley ball pit, a pool table, basketball court, shop, play area, covered porch, barbeque pit, a grand piano and the list goes on. Everything seemed perfect and made-to-order, new and luxurious. I have to admit, I was envious.

As I began to imagine how it would feel to be able to own such a wonderful and seemingly perfect place, I realized that there was something wrong, or maybe something missing. As I was talking to the man who owned this little ranch, I asked him about his horses. He said that even though he cannot ride anymore, he keeps the horses around for his grandkids. I then asked about the beautiful grand piano and discovered that it was an electric, player piano. Neither of them knew how to play, but they didn't have to. It could play itself. So, I began to get the picture. These well-meaning grandparents have provided a sort of recreational second home for their children and grandchildren. A place where they can ride horse, play pool, shoot baskets, play volleyball, listen to a grand piano, watch movies or eat, all in the lap of luxury. Nice. So why was I feeling like something was missing?

I remember as a young child, going to visit my grandparents. They had a couple of hundred acres of dry-farm in North Dakota. Their farmland was rocky and unforgiving. Out here, in irrigation country, wheat farmers can plan on dozens of bushels per acre, but back there, Grandpa was lucky to get twenty. They made their meager living on their farm and fed themselves with the sweat of their own backs. They milked a cow, raised chickens, butchered their own meat, raised their own vegetables, took their wheat to town twice a year to be milled and stored and they ate their own flour. When we visited them, we played in the trees, in the pasture or on the old propane tank. We were not allowed to use the bathroom in the house when we were playing outside, but we always used the outhouse. Actually, we preferred the outhouse and considered it a special privilege, but I suppose that's kids for you. And, there was one small rope swing, with a wooden seat which Grandpa had made for his own children.

This wonderful, working farm was a natural delight to me and my brothers and sisters. We didn't feel like Grandma and Grandpa were there to 'entertain' us or to provide some sort of diversion for us. We just loved being in the midst of useful things and being a part of it all. Grandpa would often take us with him to do little jobs, like hauling water from the nearby spring or helping pick rocks in the field, and sometimes Grandma would take us with her to bring lunch out to Grandpa in the field. One of the most precious memories I hold in my mind was one day when Grandpa took me by the hand and led me to the barn. He put his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet as we walked in. As we peeked up over the horse's feed box, I saw, to my great delight and surprise, a mama kitty with her little kittens all gathered around her. What makes this so special to me is the feeling of almost reverence that I felt from Grandpa at the time. He loved his animals, every one. He treated those kittens like they were the most amazing miracle in the universe at that moment. So it felt that way to me too.

I guess that's what I felt was missing from the “ideal” setup I visited recently. The wonder and mystery of life; the living, breathing, working, useful part of life that means something. I remember sitting by my Grandpa while he played his old piano and sang: “Tra, la, la....tra, la, la. I didn't care that it was a hundred-year-old piano or that he didn't seem to know the words to the song. I was listening to the music of life and it sounded great to me. Today, if I could be a child again and choose which house to visit, I certainly know which one it would be.