Digging for Gold

It is true that being a Mother is anything but easy. Whether you have one child or ten, it seems there is no end to the challenges. But in saying that, I do not wish to imply that there are no rewards. Motherhood is like lifting weights; You work really hard for a long time, your muscles ache, visible progress is slow and sometimes it seem like you aren't getting anywhere. Then one day, as if by magic, suddenly, you not only feel stronger, but you look stronger. I also like to think of a mother as being like a gold miner. You dig and pan and dig and pan and dig some more, just to get a few good nuggets. I am the first to admit that those nuggets are worth every bit of sweat it took to find them, but in talking with women I have met many who don't even know what they are looking for. All they have seen is the dirt, or the aching muscles, or the war.
Soldiers in battle can be very easily become disillusioned with war, wondering why he ever signed up in the first place, or what he hoped to accomplish as one measly soldier in a small fox hole in some far-away place he never heard of. Battle fatigue, insanity and untimely death are part of the outcomes of war that a nineteen-year-old boy may never have considered. Just so with Motherhood. Take a girl of eighteen who just got out of high school and got married and has a brand new baby. She will be getting a crash course in sleepless nights, strollers, bottles, diapers and twenty-four-hour care, and instead of passing with flying colors, she may, like the soldier find herself thrown into the parallel universe of depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and any number of other difficulties attendant to Motherhood.
The good news is that it doesn't have to be that way. I noticed that somewhere around the time I was born, a good number of mothers stopped teaching their girls how to be mothers. I met a woman who had a grown girl, almost ready to graduate from high school and she hadn't even allowed that girl to set foot in the kitchen to boil water. If the government allowed men to go to battle without a gun or the knowledge of how to use it I would think they were crazy or cruel or both! But that is what this mother did to her daughter. Fifty percent of the births in this country are coming to young unmarried girls and I 'll wager they have not been trained to be mothers.
So, what kind of training does one need to be a Mother? Well, we could talk about diapers and cooking, and all the nitty gritty stuff that should be passed from mother to daughter, but that sort of training can be learned as you go. What they really need to know is that there is some gold out there. They need to know where it is and how to dig for it
Gold, where motherhood is concerned, comes in many forms. The first one I found was companionship. Children make the best companions. They are funny, lively, always ready for a surprise and, if you ask them, they have a lot of good ideas. The digging required here is that you have to talk to them, teach them and take them into your confidence. Reading to them, trusting them, giving them important things to do and being with them are the tools for digging. Then, when you reach the gold, you have a companion who is exactly suited to your personality. Greater comfort cannot be had. Just ask anyone in a rest home.
Another gold nugget is laughter. Laughter, the scientists tell us, is a great help to healing of all kinds. Pollyanna taught us that looking for the good was a choice we could make. Children, on the whole, look on the bright side. Their fresh perspectives and funny outlook can be just the medicine you need. We are supposed to laugh every day. Children provide the reason. Once, we asked our small children what they wanted to be when they grew up. We were expecting the standard answers and were completely surprised when our son very proudly said, “ I want to be a Duck.” I smiled for a week over that one. Digging for this nugget is like smelling the roses; you have to slow down, look around and see things from the viewpoint of a child.
There are many more golden nuggets in raising children, but in my opinion, one of the most precious is the gem of forgiveness that children bring with them. Who else could put up with so much from their parents and still smile and say, “I love you.”? This priceless treasure is lying just below the surface of your home and can be easily uncovered by something as simple as a hug or a smile or a kind word.
Life is short, Mom, so gather the wealth that is all around you and find the joy that is Motherhood.