The Best Thing I Ever Did

When I am trying to think, it is a supreme distraction to me if there is movement, noise or confusion in the same room. Often, like Winnie-the-Pooh, when I wish to think about something or solve a perplexing problem, I go to my “thoughtful spot”, my bedroom, close the door and just sit in peace and quiet where ideas can flow freely without interruption. As human beings, I believe we all need a thoughtful spot, but I also believe that we need a thoughtful life.

I had three children and lived in a fairly large city when I awoke to the chaos around me. It happened one bright, sunny afternoon in our front yard while my children and I were out for a short walk. As we walked down the sidewalk returning to our home, a car came speeding over the little hill behind us. I thought nothing of it since we were on the sidewalk and kept my eyes on my children walking a few steps ahead of me. Suddenly and unexpectedly, the car dove recklessly toward my children. I drew a quick, gasping breath and prepared to scream. The car, just as quickly, jerked back onto his side of the road and went careening away from us, well beyond the speed limit.

At first, I thought that the boy driving the car had been trying to hit my children. I was angry and frustrated by my powerlessness in the situation. However, I soon realized that the boy had probably just been goofing off and had tried to frighten the children. This terrible and harrowing experience caused me to question the wisdom of living in such a place.

Within a year, we had purchased a small farm and were enjoying the wide open spaces around us. The first thing I noticed about living there was that if you had to drive anywhere, there weren't fifteen cars behind you, pushing you to go faster. You could drive anywhere and stop in the middle of the road if you wished and just look at the scenery. The other thing I noticed was the feeling of calm that allowed one to think. No one was hurrying anywhere and life just sat there like a blooming flower, waiting to be enjoyed.

Our friends were astonished that we would move so far away from “everything”. They complained that the drive into town for my husband's work would be intolerable to them. They liked that shorter drive, they said. Ironically, though further, the drive into town from our farm actually took less time because one did not have to fight the traffic, besides the fact that a leisurely scenic drive was far less stressful.

There are times when we have to be where everyone is hurrying everywhere through bustling, crowded thoroughfares. When that happens and life seems to be a mass of hurried confusion, it is helpful for me to step back from the crowd, turn off the noise, stop the car and find a quiet place to reflect. There are too few places where this is possible. Instead, life seems to offer more and more distractions, noises, fast-paced shows, activities, jobs, money-making schemes, products and advertisements. Not only that, but people seem to be in more of a hurry than ever to keep up, get ahead and stay afloat.

The other day, when offered the opportunity to assemble a simple project at a scout meeting, I overheard one boy say that he didn't have the time. Is life so fast-paced, even for children, that we don't have time to live?

Living takes time. Like thinking in my thoughtful spot, living has to be taken in with slow, easy breaths, enjoying it one moment at a time. I found it very difficult to live in a place where I was constantly dodging cars, being kept awake by noise and running as fast as I could to keep up. Real living began for me when I steered off the fast track and parked in a little field where I could think. It was the best thing I ever did.

War And Peace

In my dictionary, Peace is defined as the absence of war or public disturbance or, a state of calm or quiet. These two definitions of Peace cover most of the applications of the word as we know it. But, as with many words in today's vernacular, Peace is being re-defined.

In the broadest sense Peace could be applied to the condition of large groups of people and the absence of strife between them, as in peace between nations. This condition however, is the same as peace between gangs only on a smaller scale, and the same as peace in a home which is on an even smaller scale. This inevitably leads us to peace between two people and finally peace in the individual. At this point one might even argue that within the individual their might be different factions striving within one person as in disorders of the mind or multiple personalities. More commonly, quiet voices within the normal mind speak differing opinions on any given subject, like when one is attempting to make an important decision and one weighs all of the facts and opinions on the subject in order to make an informed and intelligent decision.

Thus, it appears to me that Peace at any level is the same, whether in the individual or with a group of people, no matter how large. So, let's take for instance a person with multiple personalities who is not at peace with himself and becomes a problem to those around him and upsets their peace. Well-meaning people might take this person to an asylum in order to protect him from the rest of society, as well as to keep him from harming himself. At this point they have achieved Peace in their world but the root cause is still present, just ignored. Putting a person into an asylum does not create peace within the individual it merely keeps him from interacting with others in order to create the illusion of peace through the absence of the one causing the strife. Peace for the group can be achieved on a superficial level but still the individual does not know peace. Peace for the individual as well as the group would require healing on all levels: social, mental, spiritual, physical and emotional. If the individual were healed, incarceration would be unnecessary and a lasting peace would be achieved for both the individual and the group.

If two countries are at war there must be an underlying cause. One or the other or both countries may have experienced injustices which they are attempting to correct through fighting, which is usually preceded by extensive negotiations and treaties. When the discussions fail and they resort to war then everyone says we have lost peace. But, just as the man with multiple personalities has a disorder which is causing the strife among his peers, so nations have underlying problems which cause the outward strife which is merely the end of a long line of difficulty and the long-standing absence of peace.

Typically, people will treat the symptoms of a disease without actually healing or attempting to heal the disease itself. When a cold is contracted we are only interested in stopping the runny nose instead of finding out more about immunity, good health and healing. In health, marriage, communities, churches, states, nations and the world, there is always an underlying cause to any strife or pain. Peace can be obtained outwardly by treating the symptoms. This, unfortunately, always leads to more symptoms. Suppose you take a country which is at war with another country and you, with your large army, act the part of peacemaker and stand between the two warring nations and prevent the fighting...with fighting. You have obtained Peace with war. But this peace can only be a counterfeit of true peace which could only come by addressing the issues of both parties and healing the difficulty.

A true peacemaker makes peace within himself and others through healing underlying causes of strife or pain. Counterfeit peacemakers make peace by confining, ignoring or destroying those things that cause strife or pain. Both seem to create Peace, but one is real and lasting and the other is superficial and temporary. One actually creates Peace within individuals and nations, the other actually creates more strife.

The last definition of Peace is harmony or concord. This definition is, to me, the most instructive and helpful, for it not only teaches us what peace is but how to achieve it. And perhaps if we look at it in this way we will be less inclined to keep trying to create peace with war.